All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
