Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
