1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Damn victory sex feels great
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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