The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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