Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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