I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize