weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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