Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
