Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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