This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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