i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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