I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
