how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
