Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
