If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
