I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
