also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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