I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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