I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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