Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
