i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
