The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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