smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
