What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
