i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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