In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
