guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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