somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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