Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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