I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
