Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
