i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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