I'm going to jail i love you
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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