Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We're too hungover to prance.
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