My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
