Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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