took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
