Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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