ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
