this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
