man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
