thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
