Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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