with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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