She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
