C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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