just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
