i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
