I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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