I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
