So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
