Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize