i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
After last night, I could never be a politician.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wish they made helmets for livers.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
