if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
youre lurking in front of me
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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