is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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