He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
