i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
