She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
