is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize