oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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