I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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