Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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