I hope mine doesn't look like that
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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