If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
