Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I need water and some morals
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