YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
